Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Let's talk about sex.... scenes!

So, let's talk about sex... or rather sex scenes. 
When people who know me personally read one of my books, it often causes a little bit of blushing the next time I see them... when they realize that the sex scenes I've written have actually come out of my imagination... Not that I've ever been particularly shy about what I think. 
The conversation often follows, that they would think writing the love scenes would be the most difficult part of a romance. Now, before I tell you what I think of that, I'd like to hear from readers as well as other authors... What makes a GOOD sex scene, and is writing one difficult?
Let me know


  1. *sigh* I've been told by two friends outright that they will not read my erotica. One told me it's a rule he's had in place for a very long time because he just doesn't want to know. The other said she "couldn't imagine how knowing more" would improve our relationship.

    People I know who do proof and read my stories definitely form relationships with characters that catch me off guard. I don't often get feedback on the sex scenes. There's a lot of fixation on the women in particular, and I've been pushed more than once to read more only to have to admit I haven't written any more about that character yet.

    As for writing sex scenes... the hardest part is the editing for me. Putting together the pieces, keeping things true to the characters in the heat of the moment, remembering the scents and sounds that go with the tactile and visual elements, and making sure all of that is there during the editing cycle can be a lot more work than the initial writing. Because some of my ladies have piercings and tattoos, it's important to make sure things are consistent as well. Nothing like forgetting a nipple piercing and thus either missing a wonderful opportunity to play with it or botching altogether and having his chest grind into hers without mentioning the ouch that goes with that.

    For my stories I try to hit three things in a good sex scene.

    (1) Depth that suits the characters and their attention. Some sex scenes are much more reflective, others are much more overwhelming.

    (2) Passion. There are so many emotions expressed between people, and a passionless sex scene is utterly deflating. It's got to be there in some way to provoke a response.

    (3) Real sex. I try not to airbrush or photoshop the details out. I try to make sure this is something people can relate to. I try to set realistic expectations while doing crazy sex scenes. I prefer reading sex that could happen in a bedroom or kitchen across the street. I try to write the same way.

    You can check out some of my writing on my blog and my catalog at

    1. It's also probably worth noting I don't get much feedback on sex scenes but readers who visit my house definitely notice a lot more about the art, toys, and random equipment laying around that ends up in the stories. A lady friend actually went so far as to show off to her husband the equine speculum. So they definitely like the sex scenes - or are in shock of them - but they aren't risking letting me know about their little fantasies because they know they might get a cameo in a story. :)

  2. Max, I absolutely agree with both the realism and the passion part. There are pieces of my scenes that may not actually happen for some people, but they are all completely possible. Also, the passion really is the key. Sex, without passion and chemistry, is just boring. It can almost be considered clinical if you take the heat out of it. I focus on getting inside the people's heads, not just their pants.